Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you ??
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

I can relate to where you are. See my story here. It might give you some ideas on how I am recovering. There are many stories on here that you can get inspiration from.

The first thing I would say you must do is come clean to your family. Tell the entire story without leaving anything out. Bare your soul. It will be incredibly hard.

Then comes the recovery part, sell the house if you can and move to an apartment, move in with family if you can. Use the house equity to pay off your high interest debt. Then work your way towards being debt free. If you are spiritual or religious, believe in a higher power to help you through this . Miracles will happen. Join a GA club or attend some courses. You’ll see you are not alone in this.

Don’t take any drastic steps with your life. It is a dark place you are in right now. Many of us have been there and can relate completely. It is not going to be easy but there is a way out of this. Keep working on staying Gamble free. One day at a time. Good things will come. Keep posting your thoughts here. Get ideas, inspiration and support. There are many who have documented so much of their lives here. Please read and reflect as much as you can.

Link to my thread

Phase II of my life

Ashamed, I am in the same sort of bind. I have gone from being the financially sound, resourceful and responsible head of my household to the one that has put us on the brink of ruin in 6 years of gambling. I am in debt and having trouble paying it back. I have two jobs and work 7 days a week in order to make my payments at this time. I have relapsed a few times I the past 6 months but have been putting more and more days in between them. When I first began recovery it was a challenge to make it one week without relapse. Then it was 10 days. I’m past the 30 day mark at some point ( I don’t like to count days anymore because it felt like it just kept gambling in my mind too much of the time. ) I have not gambled in a while and dont intend to ever again. I think about it occasionally but have put a number of blocks in my way so that I cant. I was an electronics gambler, not a casino gambler, as casinos are too far from where I live ( I did exclude from them as well) so it easy to gamble from the comfort of my home. I now cant gamble on laptop, phone or iPad because I have installed gamban. It is software that does not allow you to access any site related to gambling. It has saved me. Knowing that I cant gamble is making it easy to curb the urges. They come and go quickly when the front of my mind knows that I cant. Get software to stop you. It is all well and good to want to stop but like any addiction it is more helpful to block access for the first while until the urges and cravings stop. As for telling your family, that is a personal choice. I have only told my sister who has helped to bale me out a few times when times got rough, but I did not tell my parents or my daughter. I find it to be selfish to worry them with my problems as they have enough of their own and my daughter is on medication for anxiety and depression already. I will fix this myself and focus on being the best that I can be for the future. I have been a great provider in the past and been through rough times before. I will get there and so will you. Get the monkey off of your back that is weighing you down. Get rid of access to gambling, focus on a plan that will help you get back on your feet in the short run. Work on the long run when you are on more stable ground. I took a second job and am working on payment plans with various people to get caught up and back to regular payments. It is going to be three to four months of getting back to zero then I can look at a long range plan to get my savings back up and debt paid off. Throw yourself into this instead of gambling and you will be surprised and what you can accomplish

Hi ashamed I’m so sorry to read that your in the pain your in. We certainly have all been there. Like rising said I think it’s really important to be honest with your family. I no the fear of losing people is a driving factor for hiding the secret. I to did for awhile to well into addiction its scarey and the guilt and shame of being a gambling addict is so friggin hard. There’s a saying I use alot with newcomers to anytype of recovery is your only as sick as your secrets. Once the can of worms is out it allows you to start healing properly. Carrying that dark burden secretively is enough to drive anyone into a nosedive of unhappiness. I have read a few stories of people who choose not to tell family and that’s purely there choice. We all have our own paths and nobody nos anyone’s situation truly from another. I just found for me I had to be rigorously honest. My family were shocked but also very supportive. My partner and I split but in my case we needed to it wasn’t a healthy relationship anyways. I get that people with children its alot tougher and nobody’s going to tell you what’s right or wrong in that case the choice is ultimately yours. Putting up blockers and banning yourself is really important to keep from gambling especially through the withdrawl faze. I seeked out a gambling/trauma counselor and started doing 12 steps again. Since then I’ve been gamblefree. It takes alot of work but we can definitely help listen to you and offer as much advice as possible that helps us you are not alone my friend.

How are things going ashamed? I am hoping that it is not ashamed, but proud today. It is hard in the beginning to fight the urges everyday. Occupying oneself works for a while but then you have to watch out for those times when the opportunity sneaks in all of the sudden and you are powerless to stop yourself. That was my failure, thinking that if I just worked non stop that I would be able to stop myself and the urges would go away. The first opportunity I got that I was alone and relaxed, boom, I was gambling again. In time it is easier to deal with the urges and for me, my mind tells me that it doesnt want to because of all of the negative things that are becoming attached to it. The brain fights itself and then, in time, the no will become stronger than the yes. It takes time for the yes pathways to weaken and the longer you abstain and build up the no pathways, the easier it becomes. It has gone from just having the thought or memory of the music from the bonus round in my head and then I would be finding a way to play within minutes to not hearing it anymore and when a thought comes in, it is quickly ushered out by another thought. Give it time, like you would any new habit. You are developing new, good habits as well as trying to bury old bad ones. Stay vigilant.

Your story was awesome and I can conquer that your story and my story are exactly the same, so as I read your story I know exactly what emotions you are experiencing and what thoughts are crossing your mind. I am $50,000 is debt and it all started as I didn’t want to disappoint my dad, $8k of the $50k is my dad’s money as well, so I am recovering from Forex trading, and no one knows about it all, but I am this time determine that I will succeed.

Hi Ashamed, How is it going? Holding strong?