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ForfatterInnlegg
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Guys i have relapsed after 18 months and after being another ten days gamble free…some of my friends who didnt know of my problem invited to hang with them in a casino …………….i LOST the remainder of my savings and now i just cant cope with nething……i have failed my freinds….i cant seem to find any stregth to carry on ….. Its totaly my fault..and if u all dont hear from me again..this is the end….thanks for trying with me
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Now, stop!! I lost it all after being almost 2 yrs gamble free. I can tell you despite my compulsive gambling I’m still less in debt than my friend who is a compulsive spender and has never gambled a minute in her life. She’s also still in denial.
Today’s world is full of temptations for everybody. It’s hard to live the commercial life we are being served by media all the time. People have skeletons in their closets, don’t think it’s harder for you than anyone else out there.
You’re not in denial, so you are still one step ahead than many out there.
God has always left a window open for us if we decide to stop the auto destructive behavior. For instance, we come as compulsive in our gambling, often spending hundreds or thousands in minutes, while at the same time he has made us very rigid in our spending habits. We think twice about spending 5$ on a meal, a shirt, a concert or whatever. Once the gambling stops, the rigid spending habits remain and this makes us able to pay off debt, live and bounce back. It’s only one of our windows.
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Hi Rayman
Your friends here know about your problem and understand what has happened, they will not want you to go.
Some of your friends who didn’t know about your problem invited you to hang with them in a casino.
Two sets of friends and you have failed neither. Those who didn’t know probably still don’t know, those who do know will not think you have failed them.
Keep posting here Rayman and allow yourself the gift of seeing beyond this slip – if I didn’t know that the addiction to gamble could be controlled, I wouldn’t be writing to you. It is understandable that it takes time to live gamble-free; it isn’t easy to change behaviour but walking away will definitely change nothing.
In your post you give a sound reason for telling your friends you have a problem – that could be the difference between being how you feel now and being the person you want to be.
One day you may come to realise that this miserable experience might be the greatest education of your life. Make this slip work for you and don’t allow it to define who you are.
Keep posting
Velvet -
Hi Rayman,
you lost some money – when you put the whole thing into perspective -that’s all you did. You didn’t kill !It’s really hard when we relapse and really difficult to cope with a huge loss . it will take time to recover but recover you will.
Your family and friends however would never recover for their whole lives from the loss of you – I know – I live it every day.
Things are bad right now but as someone advised- get sleep, be kind to yourself and set those barriers so high that it will be impossible for you to gamble.
You can do this and you can quickly return to those happy gamble free days.
This is a horrible blip. Give yourself a week and then write about how you feel. Don’t rush into anything-impulsiveness is one of our biggest character fautls.
Remember your T words
take the time to think things through.
Rayman- to err is human -Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Hang in there -you have overcome this before and you will again! -
I Eventually fell asleep last night after Extreme restlessness , Got about 3 – 4 hours of low quality sleep, i was really shellshocked last night after the loss…..
The small rest and these messages made me feel less distraught. Today is again Day 1 … of my recovery , i was so sure last time was the last time id be in this position… but here i am..ive come full circle… IVE literally gone through hell over the past ten days…and just when i was starting to feel like me again… LOOk what happened….
I honestly went to just hANG OUT…saying id put a 20 in roulette and just spin very small bets …. however before you know it i was 1000 down in 2 hours and the chasing and adrenaline filled madness beganWHERE DO I START FROM…. i have a job that demands full focus and i have a million things piling up one me , How do i put all this aside and Focus ? cuz right now all im doing is laying down and moping around….. i keep telling myself it makes no sense to keep dwellig on it…. but my mind has been hijacked by thoughts of worthlesness , replaying the events and fear of losing al self control
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today i sat down and looked at the postives
1) I still have a decent job , but this will be lost if i continue to underperform due to gambling
2) I didnt take out any loans or owe nething , This will change if i gamble again, im hoping at the end of the month i dont blow everything again. i keep telling myself i will not
3) im still young (30) and in good health
SO now i just need to occupy my time in a healthy way, and avoid that one day of relapse, because all it takes for me throw away eveything on ONe or two binges…. ive started running today.. However i have been underperforming seriously in my work , my boss has started to recognise , He asks me everyday if im on drugs because i Look zoned out all the time…. yes sometimes i loose concentration due to my depression and reflecting on the losses…. I NEED to get back on top of my job… its all i have left… Keep the advice comming.. Becaue from tommorow if im not back ontop of things.. my boss will evetually ship me out… ALL i could think about is failing tommorow due to lack of concetration …
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Hi Rayman
I think listing the positives is a great step forward.
I guess it’s about acceptance – accepting that the money is gone and moving on from here.Get an early night , get up extra early and get to work extra early. See tomorrow morning as the start of your new improved life .
I am doing something similar !Onward and upwards !
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Hey Rayman. Glad you’re feeling better.
Yes, you’re not in debt, that’s a very positive note. Don’t get into debt.
Which you will if you continue gambling.
Your current losses, ***** them off to some misfortune. We CG’s are very good liars so why not use this to our advantage? Lie to yourself a bit. Tell yourself that your savings are gone because you wrecked your car and needed to buy a new one. Help yourself. I don’t know a single person that hasn’t had some misfortune that hasn’t caused them to loose money.
One lady I know bought an expensive horse, only to have the horse tear it’s tendons 6 days after she brought him home. He was never able to jump again.
One friend got drunk, caused an accident, wrecked his car and the car he ran into and had to pay 8000 euro in damage costs.
Luckly, no one was hurt. -
when i was 23 i was involved in a Robbery , my first car was stolen at gun point , I had the insurance on third party… didnt get back a cent…the car cost 15K,
I DIdnt feel a thing about losing the car..i was just happy to get away from being shot… happy for my life … i told myself the car is material and ill buy another one in time
Just like the car is material , What i lost is just material and can be made back
However we folks need to stop gambling… bottom line or else putting it off as a monetary loss makes no sense… We need to put everything in our power to stop….
Some of us can do it with just sheer will, some of us need all the help in the world
The bottom line is PEOPLE , gambling IS a big fat lie, dont be fooled by the stories where u can make back ur loses and then stop…. Dont be swayed by those stories… even on this forum ..there are many stories where people made back a large sum of what they lost only to loose it back and more….. Gambling is a lie… if today someone told me i would win 50 K gambling … I DONT want it…. that win will be the beggning of the end… i dont want that dirty money
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Its been 2 days since the big loss ,
Feelings are bareable
However im currently dating someone and i stood them up today for dinner, because i just dont want to be seen in public…
I feel withdrawn and not strong enough to go in public unless its absolutely nessacary.
I can really see how this addiction could you me withdrawn and begin to affect your relationships with eveyone in your life -
As someone here once said, LET this slip be the greatest education about oursleves that we learn….
We are all in control , WE just need to get to our deepest roots and confront our deepest fears , its okay to loose and walk away, its the right thing not to ever indulge in such a self destructive practice.
My main enemy is feeling that a win would make me happy, That has proven itself…wrong and wrong 100% of the times…..because thats the addiction telling me its okay to chase my losses. WE have proven too ourselves that we cant Gamble… so let us let go of our pride and lets stop guys…come on.. No other substance in the world can RUIN us so quickly as gambling. TO me now problem gambling is worse or just as bad as a heroin , cocaine, alcohol addiction….
We shall all live to fight another day
BE gamble free my freinds and see you tommorow for a long tedious day at work.
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Terrible sleep last night, went to bed a bit early couldnt sleep , kept replaying the nightmare…..
Performed decent in work today, kinda hid from anything hard.
Wanted to use my credit card to have a gamble today.. however resisted easily …. ..
These last three days were really surreal and painful
Look foward ot making it to day 4 -
Hi Rayman,
So, the good news is you know you can stop – you did it before you can do it again.
What can you do differently this time?
It is up to you whether you tell your friends that you have a problem – it is however very important that you tell them that you have decided to stop gambling, otherwise there will be no reason that they won’t invite you again at some point in the future.
You only intended to play with that 20? Then it sounds like you had access to far more than that. Why carry that much money? Or access to that much money?
From what you wrote on the Lottery Thread I started it sounded like you didn’t think thigns like that were a problem – you will give yourself greater chance of success by avoiding all forms of gambling. Don’t feed the addiction, let it starve.
You are «hoping» you don’t gambel when you get paid? What thigns can you put in place before payday?
Keep posting. let us know the positive steps that you are taking
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Hi, Rayman, I’m wondering how are you doing?
I know what it’s like to loose a big chunk of your savings.
The regret, the wishing you could turn back time, the disgust,. Endless mind racing ….»Should I give it another try or not?». I’ve been there. It’s hell.
You’ve only lost your money, don’t let them take your life.
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Hi Rayman,
I know what it’s like to start gambling again. I was proud to pick up my five year chip. Sometime after I just decided to gamble. I chose the place and snuck in and out like a thief. Looking over her shoulder. I continued for almost two years. Losing my self respect and lying to friends and family. I sunk pretty low in a lot of ways. Thankfully I have been back in recovery this past year almost. And I will need all the help I can get. Due to health issues I have been unable to drive until recently. But now that I’m back on the roads myself and driving by pubs and hotels and restaurants that are all set up as legal gambling venues I am unsupervised. My family including inlaws and friends know and would either not participate or rat on me to my partner. Long story! But now, i run the risk of bumping into them if I gamble again. So far I’m ok. I quickly returned to not wanting to gamble when I used this site regularly and I discussed my finances with my partner. The good news is you have experience being gamble free. Try and return to the patterns you were using when you were gamble free last time. Then try and fill any holes in your past plan. It is good to not allow ourselves access even when we feel we have it under control. The change in boss and the subsequent moving of job really had an impact on you. Sometimes its the situation that changes and that triggers feelings we want to forget. I’m glad you are here. Try and use breathing techniques and mindfulness to ease your anxiety and assist with sleep. Meditation is great, although that’s on my own to do list. You’ve done it before, you can do it again. Time to put the beast back to sleep. And if friends give you the invite, well, you just don’t gamble! Better things to do with your money and time.
take care,
LauraLaura
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4 days since my relapse, Still replaying the losses, Was able to perform decent in work today after blocking out the losses, I put everything in place financially for the next month or so ( food,bills, )… was suppose to buy a new tv this week ( CANT) Dealing with the temptations to play again very strictly – Everytime gambling comes on my mind… I associate it with sickness and negativity… the good part of my brian keeps telling myself its never okay to play.. Whereas the addiction part of my brain will tell me – «Play smart, Youd win and walk and be happy in life » ( A big fat lie and i see you). Not falling for it today Not falling for it again
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these freinds of my mine will understand if i say no, theyre cool guys… But for now im a bit ashamed to tell them the full extent of things, I was always a responsible person in the group… I
im really giving myself a chance to stop for good ,,, Im am not gonna mess up after today ( easier said than done )…
Im trying to convince my mind as well To HAve no self Doubt about quitting … I find that when fear creeps in about doing it again ( i think i give my addiction the edge over my self control ) …
There a lot of pwerful tools to prevent us from gambling, but none more powerful than training the mind the properly execute
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Sorry, I wasn’t meaning that you should tell a lot of people. I only ever suggest telling someone that you totally trust not to use it against you or throw it in your face. My family was supportive and helpful. My husbands not so much. He told his mom who told his whole family. I was not happy but nothing I could do after the fact. Turns out I thought I was hiding it better than I did anyway. I had a family member control my finances for a while. I couldn’t ban or block so I had to do something to help me. I tried controlling my gambling before as well. Sometimes I’d do ok for a week. Or maybe even a month without too much of a dip in funds. But sooner or later I would be looking for the rush and my luck would be down. I’d empty my bank account trying to feel it. It’s not the money we are really after in the end. Well done on day 4. One day at a time. Getting through each day as it comes. Try to focus at work. It will get better as you know. You’ve been here before ??
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I once heard a problem gambler told me , if he won 4000 in 1 hour, its not satifying for him… he hasnt got that fix yet , hed consider a good day if he was 60 quid down and spent the entire day playing , Now thats scary .
Then there is some people that dont spend a lot of hours daily on gambling…but during their binge they literally ruin themselves… Gambling huge amounts on one spin…. ruining there entire savings in just a couple nights….. And it all stems from the fact that they cant take losses.
we must rewire our minds to be satisfied with small adreanline rushes…HEnce the longer we lay the beast the sleep..the weaker he becomes
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ANother day where i am drained of energy, The hardest week is definitely the first.
I didnt think much of gambling today…
However still very low on energy, mainly due to low qulity sleep.
I see a lot of people post that they are problem gamblers , and they quit and all it takes is one small bet and thats it …..
its amazing how we cant ever become functional recreational gamblers … SOmething really different happens in our mind when we gamble ….
Keep fighting the good fight my freinds and stay away from The enemy…
keep your freinds close but your enemy totally out of site and buried ….
Keep those stress levels low… and most of all keep helping yourselves and others hold on to their wellbeing -
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Started of the second week working all day,
Much less urges to gamble
Trying to catch up with all the work piled up and getting back into things i loved doing, Music movies, Checking in on freinds,PAy day is comming this month end.
Looking foward to start saving once again.The most important thing ive done this entire week was not gambling, thats all we need to do..not gamble
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Hanging in there ,
Gains are slow,
Eagerly awaiting Money at the end of the month ,
My performance in work has been not good but steady, Im holding it together most importantly .Preparing to have to live much tighther for the next year, Sigh
LEts take it one day at a timei know its just day 12, but i feel like i have achieved a lot in those days by keeping it together… couldnt have acheived it without your help
thank you -
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Hey Rayman, how are things going? I hope you are getting some support maybe professionally and from friends. This addiction is tough but you can do this. Surround yourself with as much support as you can get. And don’t forget to use your GT friends here. We are rooting for you. We know what you are going through. And we do not judge. Progress not perfection. Take care,
Laura -
I had been around 40 days of being gamble free , and i recently went and lost about1.5 K out of my salary on gambling today at a casino near to work…. this thing digs really deper than i thought i have no idea how to stop bingeing my money away …. the only postive thing is that i didnt spend my entire salary…but i feel depressed and disgusted again
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It can feel so hopeless. Like quicksand sucking us down into the depths. Don’t give up Rayman. What can you do to keep your money safe? It takes a long time to get our thinking straightened out after we are in the middle of this bad. Can you ban from the casino? Can you have someone look after your money for you? I know it seems we should be able to do this ourselves but whatever it takes to put blocks or barriers between you and gambling do it! You have to save yourself from you if that makes any sense. And then you have to give yourself time to work on the addiction and what is at the root of it. White knuckled abstinence won’t help. Sooner or later we have to deal with the addiction. Take care Rayman. 40 days before, you can do it again. Laura
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while i did confide in a close freind about my habit, i feel so alone,i really came here to ensure im not alone on this….
i feel as if part of my confidence is shattered as i have relapsed once again …
however i will not give…not with all you good people fighting the good fight
here we go again Day 1
; _(
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Please don’t ever feel alone in this. We are not alone. We are the few here that chose to fight this addiction and not let it control the rest of our lives. That was one of the things that helped me stop. Realizing that I would gamble every last cent right into my old age. And I would have nothing, do nothing and leave nothing for my children. And I was in my 30’s when I started gambling. I loved it that much. So sad and a waste of a person’s time and resources. Please hang in there Rayman. You can’t give up. There is always something else you can try to stop. Take care, Laura
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Haven’t had time to post but I do read daily. Gambling just takes us down an awful road, just read some of my posts and you will see where it took me. You can stop, we just have to,really want to and for me it was hitting my rock bottom, I hope you don’t get to that point.
Just remember you are not alone. It is progrsssive and it took every last penny of mine, as it will do for,us all. Don’t hate yourself, forgive yourself and protect your money. Gambling sucks, really it does. -
Hey Rayman, you doing ok? So difficult. Does your work come with a health plan that allows counseling? I really think you need to talk with a professional. If you can find a well qualified professional with experience with gambling addiction it can be so helpful. My government runs a gambling addictions rehab facility and out patient program. Was the best «luck» I ever had. Gamblers anonymous also helped. My group was terrific. Barriers helped tremendously. This addictions is a silent killer. The shame at what we are doing keeps us from telling someone who can truly help us. I found someone to help with my money for a while. So I wouldn’t binge away all my savings. It’s like asking a drug addict who is just started rehab to hold on to a bag of drugs. It is true you need to find someone you can trust not to misuse your money. I chose a parent. You won’t have to do it forever but it sure helps with temptation. You can do this. Sometimes it just takes us a while to get the message how serious this addiction is and how long it can take to break it. We are never cured however. But we can have a good life. Thinking of you.
Laura -
been free since my last relapse , 1 Month and 5 days ,
Got paid and i dont feel like gambling ,
I feel sick anytime i think about Roulette
I am trying to conidtion my Mind feel complete depair when i think about gambling , BEcause its only depair it causes at the end of the day
Im doing well -
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