[Palmsandsun]

Hey everyone!

I am new on this forum. After 3 years of excessive gambling (I have been gambling for about 6 years but before it was fine) it is now really REALLY time to quit. I am only 22 years old and made some pretty bad debts on my student loan because of gambling.
In my mind, I acknowledge I am an addict for about a year now. Before that I didn’t even realize it. Last year it came into my mind that I am addicted and ever since I tried to stop, but never really seriously.
Upon yesterday. I lost 200 euro’s in one day AGAIN, and it made me sick. The last few months have been really bad and I probably gambled around 500-600 euro’s a month. That is an amount no student can afford.
That’s why I am seeking help now. I made a promise to myself, that this will be my last try and if I don’t succeed I will tell my parents and search professional help. I downloaded Gamban but from prior experience I know it’s not enough and just a usefull tool.

I am dedicated now. I’m not a slave of the bookies anymore and today is the day I quit FOREVER. Instead of telling it to my parents first, I will now tell it to my best friend. If that doesnt work, once again, I will admit everything to my parents. I just hope it doesn’t go that far.
Doe you guys have any other tips? I will make a video for myself. I will look inside the mirror everyday and say: I will not gamble. If I have the urge I can locl my phone for an hour. I will write down all the benefits and all the reasons why I wanted to stop.
Because from earlier experiences, I know your brain will think crazy stuff just to make an excuse to gamble. NOT THIS TIME BRAIN! Please wish me luck, I will write my progress down here once in a while.
I thought it might be an idea to find an accountability partner? We can write each other and motivate each other to really quit. I think it makes it easier if you have someone to account for. Message me if you would like to do that too!

Anyways, registering to a forum like this is already a big step for me. This is my last shot before professional help. I hope I can do it now.

Have a great day everyone! And stay away from this horrible addiction.

Han

[Steev]

You have admitted you have the problem and you have admitted it to us … that is a great first start. Yes, it you can also admit it to a friend – it will help and hopefully you will get some support.

Stopping gambling will save you a lot of heartache (as well as a lot of money) and if you read through some of the posts on here you will see what I mean. You will also see the other things you need to stop – which are … 1) losing access to gambling, 2) losing access to finance and 3) finding new, more positive ways of using your time. I wish you well.

[Jdbby85]

Hi I have recently stopped gambling I nearly lost my home, my marriage and my sanity!
I’ve not gambled for over 8 days and the urge to gamble has gone too! I’m hoping it stays that way! I’m not sure it will still early days! If you feel like you are going to want to gamble please come on here put it on the forum and I’m sure someone will answer you! They answered me and I’ve found it really positive! Try to distract yourself if you feel an urge to gamble, go for a walk make a drink anything you can! Also do you have any family or friends who can support you, maybe let them take over your finances for a bit so you do not have access to money that you can spend online? That may help you also!
Good luck on your journey to a better future! Stay strong!

[Palmsandsun]

Thanks for your reply! So far so good, I made a video for myself today, talking why I need to stop and what the consequences are if I don’t stop.I will keep doing that for the next few weeks. I hope/think it will motivate me to stay on the right path. I have a question though. You say stop losing acces to gambling & finance. So does that mean I need acces to gambling websites and my finances? I have the Gamban IP block now and I thought it would help. Or do I need to resist the urges while being able to actually gamble?

Hope you have a great day!

[Palmsandsun]

Nice! Congrats on not gambling for 8 days. That would already be a milestone for me! I have trust you can stay away, don’t think in early days. Every day you don’t gamble is a new victory and the path to a sooo much better life opens up. Thanks for your tip aswell, I will definitely stay active on this forum. I have to remind myself everyday, every hour that I’m on probably the most important mission of my life. If I don’t change now I never will and I can still turn my life around. I didn’t tell my family yet, only my best friend. I am too ashamed to tell it now, but if I fail now I will tell my family 100% sure and go to a therapist. My own ultimatum. 

And thanks, you too! Keep it up ?? 

[Dolly]

Just agreeing, I want to quit too. I’m going to be honest with myself. I may get fired for my negatives affect from being a compulsive gambler, so long, I’ll be back in 5 days.

[tommik]

i hope you hold on to not playing

[Steev]

I didn’t phrase my answer to you very well – I apologise (not good as I teach English!)

I was listing another 3 things you need to do in order TO STOP gambling. 

So those are losing access to gambling (which you are doing by installing Gamban – well done!)

Losing access to finance – if you do tell your parents, perhaps they can handle your money for a while until you feel stronger.

Doing other things.

Make things as easy for yourself as possible and don’t rely on your willpower or good intentions.  I wish you well.

[dunc]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you ??

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[Palmsandsun]

Hey man! How is it going so far? Almost 5 days have passed, I hope you are doing well so far!

[Palmsandsun]

So a small update. I did not gamble now for already 5 days. % days already sound like a good start to me and it motivates me to continue. However I must say that the urge to gamble became a little bit bigger after a few days, but I guess that’s normal and I am holding on! There is no way I will gamble anymore. Yesterday I even had to say no to friends. Sometimes we drink a few beers and gamble online once in a while. Even though it’s always a small amount and that I am not gambling alone (so it’s not too bad) I did say no. I’m very proud of myself because of that!

[Palmsandsun]

Thanks for the info ?? I will make use of it. 

[Palmsandsun]

Thank you! So far so good, but fingers crossed. I have faith in quitting!

[Steev]

I found that it took a long time for the urge to gamble to leave me … and just being in the presence of slots would switch the urges back on again. So I would consider telling your friends that you have a bit of a problem with gambling, so that they will not try and get you to join them in their gambling.

Be very proud of your gambling free time – but please don’t let your guard down … keep going with your recovery as passionately as you were going with your gambling. I wish you well.

[Palmsandsun]

Thanks for your advice, it helped me last night! I was drinking/smoking weed with my friends again yesterday and we always end up gambling with the three of us. But this time I said no and explained that I am just sick of gambling. They didn’t fully understand, because they were still egging me on a bit but after some time they stopped with that. I was already pretty intoxicated at that point- it was really hard to say no- but now it’s a really good feeling that I know I can say no even when I’m intoxicated. 

You are right about not letting my guard down. I have to continue this. It has already been 8 days and 14 hours since I last gambed (have an app which helps a lot), my next goal is the 10 day mark. I’m also afraid of letting my guard down, but I think that when you are afraid of that it’s pretty much impossible to actually let your guard down. 

Have a great day!

[Palmsandsun]

Hey, time for an update ??

So this is day 16 already that I have not gambled. I must admit that the urge is already getting a little bit less & I am starting to feel more relieved. Before I quit, I always had these random moments during the day were I felt stressed/guilty because of money problems. This feeling is now pretty much gone & I did some nice things with friends (the bars are open again) and for the first time I could think like: wow! I can actually afford a few beers now without stressing. Really nice and didn’t have that feeling for a long time.

BUT on the flip side… I am also feeling more ‘guilt’ or I am just now starting to REALLY recognize how bad my life has been influenced by it. I can suddenly link A LOT of my problems to gambling. Last year I was depressed, I lost my relationship of 3 years and almost failed the entire year of school. I can now see that gambling is highly likely a main cause of this.. it hits hard.

Not only that, also the fact that I could have done SO much with that money to achieve my dreams. I just know that if I never gambled.. i would have never felt the guilt and stress that lead to my depressive thoughts and end of my relationship. I just feel like I would have achieved much mor ein life already, not only money related.. There are so many things I didn’t do because of money problems. I just hate myself for it.

How do you guys cope with that feeling? I’m happy and proud that I didn’t gamble for more than 2 weeks. That’s a huge milestone for me and I know I will continue. I have never been so dedicated in my life. But these thoughts just suck.. since I quit gambling I started smoking muuuuuchhh more weed (every day) because then I forget.

Hope y’all are doing great!

[Steev]

First of all congrats on your 16 days!
Yes, I went this thinking period. When your mind gets clearer post gambling, you begin to make the links. I look back and see my failure to get promotion at work, my pretty patchy lovelife, my continued tiredness were all linked to my gambling.

But if you think of things in another way – you can celebrate the fact that you have worked all these things out and that they can be another barrier to continuing gambling.

The other thing is that you have plenty of time left – so stopping gambling will mean that you can get your finances in order, you can do all the things you want to do. All that is now in your control, now you know what the problem is.

A slight word of warning – beware of moving from one addiction to another. I can understand using weed as a prop whilst you are in withdrawal from gambling, but you probably don’t need me to tell you that long term use can be problematic. Not only can it be expensive in itself, but it can dull ambition and cause some health problems with long-term heavy usage. Keep well.

[Palmsandsun]

Hey!
n
nOk so I haven’t updated this in a long time BUT…. I still didn’t gamble ?? I am gamble free for 42 days now already and it feels really good. Yesterday just before going to bed I realised it: I am out of debt! My bank account was at -1000 for pretty much a year.. and now is the first time I don’t see the – anymore ! I also spent much more time on hobby’s, especially making music and I feel a little bit more energetic throughout the day. I still have urges sometimes, but I made a deal with my best friend: he also quitted and now I have someone to account for. I am not planning to gamble anymore! With the money I have now I am going to do a small roadtrip. Unbelievable that I can only do this now because I haven’t gambled. It’s the first time I see real good benefits after quitting.
n
nAnd @steev, thank you.. you were absolutely right. I did trade gambling addiction for weed. I already used to smoke weed like 3 times a week.. but now it is everyday. I want to quit that too now.. but I also quit nicotine already and quitting three harsh addictions at the same time just doesn’t feel right for me. I don’t want to relapse on smoking and definitely not gambling. I must say though: I stay sober throughout the day and get my stuff done.. then late afternoon/ evening I just smoke one to relax. It is not good, i know.. but I can live with it for a while ??
n
nCan’t believe this many days have passed already.. time flies
n

[Palmsandsun]

Three months have passed since I started this thread. And I did it. I downloaded an app on my phone which counts the days, and yesterday I got a notification that I haven’t gambled in 90 days now. It is paying off.. even though I was out of debt. I’m in a small debt again because I went on a holiday. I’m fine with that, next week I am out. My life feels so much more stable. My depression is already gone for a long time, and I also quit smoking weed AND cigs now for already 6 weeks. I’m addiction free at the moment, maybe only a Youtube/Netflix addiction but I am totally okay with that at the moment. Love is coming into my life again, I met a girl some time ago and we have a really nice time together. I’m starting to feel some butterflies in my stomach aswell. ??
n
nI do however still have to deal with guilt. I might (almost) be out of debt on my bank account, but my student debt is at 35 000… every time I think about it it just hurts and could still cry. I am opening up more about my addiction to others.. first 2 months I was still ashamed. Now I told my friends how bad it was, where I gambled (like work etc) and how much I have actually lost. It feels good. Next step will be my parents, they have to know at some point. I know their reaction will be supportive but they will also be shcoked.. I will just wait with that for a while.
n
nAnyways, I’m going in the right direction and still feel that I NEVER want to look back anymore. Ofcourse there are some urges sometimes, but now it is only down to 1-2 times a week. I can live with that.
n
nI hope you are all doing fine! For those who just started: you can do it. Keep strong.. once you reach some milestones it feels amazing. Every little second counts!!

[Enough808]

Hi friend, that is an amazing story you shared. Very happy for you to have recognized the problem at such a young age. A lot of us have had to deal with the addiction well into our post college days but you have done it early. Well done!

[Author]

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