[vera]

…………."You make me stay
                  When I should not
                  Are you so strong
                  Or is all the weaknes in me"
I heard this song , (one of my favourites) on the car radio late tonight…I love Joan Armatrading’s voice..
one of those horrible late night journeys …
and I decided to open a new thread with the above tiltle..
(no offence Kathryn)
I’m thinking of dropping this name shortly..it’s my gambling name
(sorry Sulls!)
"VERA"
 

[sherry123]

Hi Vera, I thought about starting a new thread but didn’t know what to say.  I don’t want to gamble the whole month of June and I want to join you in our pact…like we used to do.  I’ve reached a MAJOR milestone.  All my credit cards are paid in full. I’ve finally got all my finances in order and money in the bank and I don’t want to blow it by thinking I can start gambling again, so I came here for support and strength.  Vera, what do you say?  Are you up for the pact?If you want to know your past; look into your present conditions.If you want to know your future; look into your present actions.~Roy Mathews

[vera]

SHERRY!
You are my answer to prayer…
For the last few days Ive been say "IF ONLY SHERRY WAS AROUND WE COULD RE START THE PACK FOR THE MONTH OF JUNE!"
prayers answered! I cant believe you "heard" me!
I have been doing badly Sherry so this is a new day. A new month and we are here together!
Wel done on getting your debt in order. My day will come to write those words! Until then , I ll string along here.
One day at a time!
Please keep in touch Sherry!

[finding_laura]

Hi Vera,
it was so great to connect with you in Topic Group today.  I feel like we have shared a lot in the past and have become disconnected with my ****** computer schedule   But know that you are always in my thoughts.  I’m glad to see Sherry’s post on your thread.  Have you noticed that God keeps answering your prayers?  I recall an aswered prayer in the parking lot of a church.  We need to be clear about what we want and phrase it in a positive way, or so I believe.  Here’s to a gamble free June.  xo
Laura

[Anonymous]

Vera god works in mysterious ways dont you know! 
I’ve been thinking about you today and I want to ask to satisfy my own curiosity but on easter sunday then this last weekend how were you able to get your hands on so much money, in other words where’s your awareness gone to?  Access to money like that is a no no for us, as you know know. I’m pleased your mates turned up in answer to your prayers and your monthly pact is great but as you know just to get through today is a blessing. One day at a time Vera simple as that. Self honesty and awareness will be back before you know it.
Not trying to teach my granny to suck eggs, but Mrs. you should know better!!
I really really hope its in the past for you Vera.
Take care.   Geordie.
I dont gamble.
PS. I would definatley send them a letter to their head offices. I wrote to Grovesnor and Stanley casinos when I gambled after coming out of jail in 2006 and said I had been to prison through gambling. They both excluded me for life and I know the ban is still in place, because I tried to get in to a casino from both companies earlier in the year, Grovesnor said they would never consider lifting my ban, Stanley said I would have to supply documentry evidence that I was sane! And I think my telegram from the ***** will be here before anybody would put that in writing!
— 01/06/2011 17:20:55: post edited by geordie18.– 01/06/2011 17:40:37: post edited by geordie18.

[sherry123]

Gordie, I approached a company about coming up with an earring/implant/tatoo (voluntarily worn) that would contain something that would set off an alarm if a compulsive gambler tried to enter a casino or approached a slot machine but got no interest. Probably because I didn’t have any money for research.   All Casinos would have to have the entry alarm but then I thought all slot machines should have alarm triggers too.  The local casinos do not enforce self exclusion. I know because I self excluded, went back and was given a replacement player’s card and even had the door opened for me as I approached.  I wish self exclusion was the easy answer. I am set up where I can not access money or write a check at the casino (because they have 3rd party venders).
Vera, I’m so happy that you are joining me…I knew I could ***** on you!  There is definately strength in numbers! You’ve been in my thoughts too.  I was wondering how things are going with your ‘wayward’ son and with your husband.  Hope all is well. I’ll have to take some time to read back on posts but it sounds like you’ve had a few bumps in your recovery but you’ve also had many many months without gambling. I don’t know how there can be such a draw to something so destructive but there sure is.  You broke away from gambling before and you can do it again! 
It’s a beautiful day today. A great day for a new start.If you want to know your past; look into your present conditions.If you want to know your future; look into your present actions.~Roy Mathews

[Anonymous]

Sherry I’m not saying exclusion is an easy answer, there is no easy answer. Well actualy there is but we convince ourselves it is so difficult. I was answering a question on the wrong thread. So I am sorry if you thought it was a random bout of preaching. I have heard stories about exclusion in the USA similar to yours. Thankfully in the UK they do work especially in the casinos. Of course Vera is in Ireland and I’ve no idea how rigorousley they are enforced there. However every little helps. And to be honest with you my exclusions have been a lot more useful to me in my recovery than any pact ive made with anyone.
Sorry Vera, I’m on a right one today. I’m not "dissing" your pact it all helps. Maybe I should get some weed to calm down! I think GT has been my weed substitute today.I dont gamble.

[Anonymous]

Thank you both Vera and Sherry, if it wasn’t for my above rant I doubt I would of had a look to see if there was a weed therapy site, guess what I’ve just found…..wwww.givingupcannabis.com..excellent. God most certainley does move in mysterious ways.I dont gamble.

[vera]

Sherry if you could get somebody to patent and license that idea it would be a great deferrent for CGS!
There must be somebody out there who could get it up and running.
Self exclusion in Ireland is word of mouth only. No paperwork. No gaurantee that a CG will be stopped from entering but I was told that if I do get in start playing a machine without being noticed that I wont get paid if the machine wins . Imagine walking away from a jackpot. If you are seen, your machine will be turned off and you ll be asked to leave. If you refuse the security will remove you!
Now who in their right mind would invite that negavite attention and stress.
Deep down Sherry, I’m proud!
I would not lower myself by losing face with these creeps!
So , our pact is safe.
Please hang in here with me!
PS things much calmer with hubby, but not great communication…"wayward" son is keeping his distance. Only makes brief appearances and when he starts his antics, I disappear!
How’s your mom Sherry? Still gambling?
You are in my thoughts and prayers!

[vera]

Geordie, the idea of a PACT promotes honesty, fellowship, even a bit of fun and keeps us grounded and encourages us to be accountable. Sort of like the boyscouts…united we stand,divided we fall, sort of arrangement…I LOVE it!

[Anonymous]

I know and I think its great, I was on a crusade earlier and meant no offence, and its evident none was taken. Dyb dyb dyb!I dont gamble.

[sherry123]

Vera, you have a way with words and I love to read anything and everything you write.  I also do things to extreme because I never get the satisfaction I’m wanting. A bag of cookies, a whole pizza, 12 hours of gambling or any other self indulgent activity and my soul feels even emptier than before.
 Mom still gambles with her friends but I think she is cutting back.  I’ve had my slips and binges with gambling but I’m doing so much better than a few years ago.  Vera, you were my inspiration as you had months and months and months without gambling.  You can do it again.  I can understand how some extra money is an excuse to visit the casinos…that’s exactly why I came here for your support.  Hope that doesn’t sound selfish because I want to support you too! Have you heard from Marilee?  I hope she is still doing good.
I think all us gamblers should pool our money, develop and patent the idea and get rich from the casinos instead of the other way around. Although, the casinos might not be profitable for long if everyone who ‘couldn’t stay away’ was forced to stay away. I know I’d purchase a sensor for the peace of mind knowing I couldn’t even enter a casino.  Just think what we could do and plan for our lives if we knew there was no way that we could gamble for a year, 5 years or the rest of our lives! Vera, am I still just a dreamer?
Geordie, I’ve never smoked cannibus but I sure don’t need another ‘problem’. lol.  If you try ‘weed therapy’, hope it works!
Vera, 1 easy June day done. Let’s do it again tomorrow.
 If you want to know your past; look into your present conditions.If you want to know your future; look into your present actions.~Roy Mathews

[vera]

Went to city centre with my daughter tonight. Asked her what she thought of coming into a couple of casinos to impose  a self-ban. She agreed but didn’t see the reason as she is convinced I havent gambled for 18 months. I explained that it is better to have as many barriers as possible set up in case temptation every arises.
The first place had a very tiugh looking security guy on the door. I asked to see the manager. I was told I would need to call back tomorrow. The guy at the desk was very slow to give me the managers name , asking what the nature of my business was. He eventually gave the name and we left saying we will call back tomorrow.
On to the second "paradise" which is the "head office" of where I banned 2 days ago. Dr Quirkey’s Good Time (yea right!) Emporium….The chinese girl in the office was VERY reluctant to call the manager. Again wanted to know what I wanted him for. "Private business", I said! . After a few minutes a very nice (Irish) guy appeared with a security guy standing behind him. I asked what was Dr Quirkey’s policy on self exclusion. He told me that the person being banned would have his/her photo put into a portfolio and would never be allowed to enter the premises again. I asked if banning was a regular prictice. He said they do it "all the time"! I explained that I knew somebody who had self-excluded from their other branch and that there was no mention of a photograph. He said "they will need to go back to the Irish manager to clarify things because the other guy is due to leave that casino shortly"…!!! He asked if the "person" being banned was a regular customer. I replied that the person in question was ME!…He seemed genuinely surprised and said " you are not a customer , I have never seen you before." I explained that I had a gambling problem and that I was making sure I would be "safe" whenever I was in the city. He said he had never heard of a woman seeking to be banned but several men have done so. I asked "what about taking a photograph". He said "youve already been picked up on camera and I will never forget you"!!!! I asked what if he s on his day off and I try to come in. He told me not to worry that the security will be well instructed that I am banned!!. We shook hands and I left…
My daughter was not at all convinced that his method would prevent a person who was intent on gambling entering that casino to play slot machines…
Personally, I would not venture in there ever again…….

[Anonymous]

Great. What a manouvre, nice one V!!I dont gamble.

[vera]

Entering Day 3 now Sherry…
Middle of the night here!
I think about Marilee a lot and hope and pray she s ok because her health was giving her trouble…
keep posting!

[Anonymous]

Ships in the night tonight. Still better than the two twits in the ***** that we have been.
I dont gamble.– 03/06/2011 02:28:55: post edited by geordie18.

[vera]

Definitely turning off the lights now G!
It’s my sister’s 2nd anniversary tomorrow.
My daughter and I are going to the Hill of Tara to make some connection with past spirits..
Then to an anniversary Mass in the evening…
So no gambling!
I have just polished off a box of chocs…on top of a Thai meal we had in Dublin…Im cross-eyed with migraine!
Good morning!

[bettie]

Hey Vera!
Loved the banning story! Good one!
bettie

[Anonymous]

A nice healthy bed time snack. I’ve just rang the samaritans, im not depresssed but just wanted to say thanks to them, they listened to me when i was down and out. And I do need my daily chats, I only spoke to my Mam for about 20 mins today which is a short phone call. I know this recovery lark is all about change, hope I’m not changing into an old woman!
Hope its a fulfilling day for you Vera, sounds like your serenity, courage and wisdom are back aswell as your awareness.
My mind boggles as what ***** five wires plugged in under the bed.I dont gamble.

[sherry123]

I felt like I was there, standing behind you, as you demanded to see the manager. (Of course cheering you all the way!) Way to take control and make yourself known! Way to go girl!
3 days down and 27 to go…ODAAT of course.If you want to know your past; look into your present conditions.If you want to know your future; look into your present actions.~Roy Mathews

[Anonymous]

Hi Vera,
can’t really think of anything inspirational to write, but I really feel your pain and disappointment.
Sending you lots of prayers and best wishes for your continued recovery.
Life is too short to be anything but happy!!

[desdemona]

Hi Vera! Well done on your gamble free days, and on asking your daughter to come in with you to self-exclude. The manner in which those gambling venues handle self-excusion seems pretty shoddy. No pictures or documentation! It seems so undergroundish and sealed with a handshake? I bet the only time they would enforce the ban would be if a person won any money. Is there not a central agency that monitors gaming in Ireland? If so, you might want to give them a call and ask about how a person gets themselves banned. Carole
 

[Anonymous]

Hi Vera I’m not playing out tonight, well unless I cant get to sleep, but I’m having a tapping session in a minute.
I imagine it wasn’t an easy day for you today ( I dont mean gambling wise), I hope it was a peaceful day for you. No doubt will bump into you in the virtual social club.
Night night.I dont gamble.

[pp]

Hey Vera
Nice to see we are both back on board now, well done on getting back here and never giving up, i know i won’t be either. 
Day 19
 

[sherry123]

I promise to start my own thread July 1st if you lead me through this month! No urges to gamble today. I think I’ve resigned that I made a promise to you and I’m going to stick to it.  Also, it would have been my brother’s birthday June 12th and I want to honor and remember him the best way I know how.  I know your sister is also your inspiration.  For your sister’s memory and for my brother’s memory, anytime we think of gambling we can replace that thought with the love we have for them. 
My husband and I are taking two of our granddaughters to see ‘Kung Fu Panda’.  The youngest just turned 3 so I hope she can sit still for an hour and a half.  Hope you have a good weekend.  Hope everyone on this site has a good gamble-free weekend.If you want to know your past; look into your present conditions.If you want to know your future; look into your present actions.~Roy Mathews

[vera]

Thanks Sherry!
Knowing you are here with me makes me feel safe! I’m sure the family who have "moved on" are pulling strings for us
I dropped my son and daughter to Dublin today. Would have had several free hours to spend in **** but Im banned so no hope!
Even though the ban is not written in stone ( not even written on paper, actually) it kept me out today…which proves banning is really in the mind/heart of the CG who bans!
Back to work tomorrow Sherry!

[Anonymous]

Hope you get to bed Vera and get up in the morning.
 I know I can come across a bit pedandtic at ***** some may say a bit pathetic. Maybe in a month or two (day or two even) I could be eating a large slice of humble pie and feeling like a right nincompoop, but v I am awake you know, I really am.
If I keep my current regime I will be fine, I’ve never done these things before, the talking, (and the tapping of wrists and thumbs!!) I know its hard to sustain change from bitter experience maybe events up home have helped me to grow up and wake up.
You were one step ahead of me last year when I quit college, you read me like a book V, that’s your superb awareness.
Anyway I’m off on a tangent again so I will shut up, the moral of the story is; Get Yourelf to Bed!!!!! Or else!!
Good night Vera.I dont gamble.

[p]

Hi Vera
So nice to catch you in chat!  I always smile if i log on and see you there.. I had to laugh when you said how i post is like how you gambled, that is exactly right, you should have seen me when i did Vera, I am completely compulsive!  All or nothing so trying to find that balance, just dont have it in sight at this minute hehe.  I hope you had a good sleep and i will see you round soon, we can do this Vera!! Yippeee
 P – Living and Learning

[marla]

Hi Vera,
Just wishing you well with your ongoing recovery. Great things are coming to you ??
xox M

[Anonymous]

Hi ya Vera, hope that you got up on time today. For once I was pleased NOT to see you in chat last night, although you were missed.
I probably wont be online myself later.
I read my whole thread back to myself this morning and it has inspired me even more to keep on going with this. You were there with your unfaltering support while I was being stupid so thank you very much.
Maybe see you later, if not see you soon.
Geordie.I dont gamble.

[vera]

MARLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[finding_laura]

Hey Vera,
didn’t run into you this weekend and I’m thinking of you.  Glad you are getting to spend lots of quality (self-banning) time with your daughter.  Loss is such a huge huge trigger.  I can’t imagine losing a sister Vera, (or a brother Sherry although I don’t have one) my sister is my best friend for life.  They are with you truly guys. And they are supporting you with your recovery. Have a good gamble free day you two.  xoxo
Laura

[pumkin113b]

Hi Vera — WTG on banning!!!!!!! I also had enough and just banned myself yesterday! I found an attendant and he had to get the manager — took forever (sound familiar?) — also the attendant said he was strictly unable to give out any kind of advice including the hotline number to patrons — go figure. He confided that he also struggles from a gambling problem (other casinos he not working at) and actually said he wished he had the guts I did to ban himself! What a wicked disease. Anyway congrats Vera!!!!!!!!  You’re a rockstar ??   Pumkin113b

[lizbeth4]

HI Vera, congrads on banning!!!!!  Take care!!!Seize all the good things in life

[sherry123]

Vera, we’re in day 7 of this month already! Time flies by that’s for sure.  But life is so much better with 7 gamble free days then it would be with even 1 day of gambing.  We deserve that good life and it’s ours for the choosing!If you want to know your past; look into your present conditions.If you want to know your future; look into your present actions.~Roy Mathews

[pumkin113b]

Hey ((V)). On this first day of the new year I want to say thank you. Your wise post to me opened my eyes that YES I do now believe that "recovery is possible" (haha I think this has become my new mantra now thanks to you!). Oh and I am not being deluded this time V — I know relapse is possible too — but …….RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE TOO! Wishing you the best in the new year to come my friend.   Pumkin

[sunny123]

happy new year vera.. thanks for holding my hand when i started this journey towards freedom.. i wish you happiness, contentment and good health.. sorry for being little bit irregular these days.. but as you know i am working most of the ***** so not much time to come here.. but whatever time i get.. i try to go through your posts.. thank you so much.. tomorrow will be better than yesterday.

[jenny46]

Hi Vera
Thanks so much for your reply on my thread, have just updated – it has helped me no end – Forgot to tell you my Op is the first of March I could have had it done in January but i was a bit concerned of any icy weather we might have and how I would cope !!!
So we have between now and then to discover the latest fashions in Velcro foot wear and any recommendations will be greatfully recieved. Happy New Year Vera may it be a good one for you ***

[desdemona]

Dear Vera! I totally agree with your advice to examine my motives for wanting to contact the grandmother of the baby. I have done that and have to agree that no good will come out of me doing so. She certainly doesn’t need a reminder of that time in her and her son’s life, as she grieves her son’s death. I can’t even imagine having to go through that as a mother. I really feel for her thus need to keep my emotional distance from this tragedy, so that I don’t take on her grief, being a mother myself. As cgs whether we admit it or not, seek out chaos and drama, because that’s what we are used to. Great advice as usual Vera. Carole

[erin]

Hi Vera.  I  found it ironic when you wrote in my journal "365 "NOs" and next year we will be richer in every way!"
Here’s why….Four months ago I printed out calendar pages with every month through the end of 2012.  I hung up four of the pages in my bedroom on the wall and I started to mark the days I gambled with a red x and the ones that I didn’t gamble I marked with a green x. The first two months were shameful.  I almost had more red x’s than green. But I finally got help and now I have had 8 weeks of green x’s!  The irony of this is, is that here in America a slang name for money is "green."  If someone says, "give me some green."  they are saying, "give me some money."  After reading your post, I was looking at my calendar on the wall and I thought to myself while looking at the last two months worth of green x’s, "Wow, that’s the most "green" I’ve seen in a long time!"  Not only do I have more green x’s, but I have more green (money) too!    I am going to take down the four sheets and hang up the whole year’s worth of calendar pages on my wall (it’s going to take up my whole wall, but oh well!)  A year from now I am going to be looking at 365 green x’s!!!  (and hopefully more of the other green too, but if not…..it’ll be alright.)  Thanks for your post Vera and here’s to making each day a green day!
Erin

[cat438]

Hi (((Vera)))  Firstly, thanks for posting on my site. I hope and pray that you were stronger than me and did not give in to the gambling.  What a horrible addiction it is… we feel we are doing great then all of a sudden, wham bang we slip.  It reminds me of walking along happy, singing away to yourself the world is wonderful – then out of nowhere you get this big dark cloud that takes over your mind.. says come with me… maybe, just maybe, I am no longer a compulsive gambler, I am a responsible gambler… then once again the proof is there… I am not a responsible gambler…. Wishing you well and all the best in 2012…. and may all your dreams come true… One day at a time… and we can live in the NOW.One day at a time my sweet lord…

[paul315]

Originally posted by vera
Today,in Ireland it is " Little Christmas"! Otherwise known as "Nollag na mBan"-(women’s Christmas) …

Tody in New Orleans is "12th Night" otherwise know for the first official parade of the Mardi Gras season. Tonight a club known as the Phorty Phunny Phellows (many more than forty, and including gals — "Revelers na mBan", I would think —  as well) will "parade" and party while riding on the Street Cars that operate in the city.
And of course, as you point out true meaning of the Epiphany comes from accepting the opportunity and gift of change that was given at Christmas.
This lessor celebration for recognizing the coming of Fat Tuesday and Ash Wednesday, is however something that can be experienced by those that are not held prisoner by addictions; one of the many minor gifts that can be enjoyed today. But alas, I am here in Saint Louis resting up form a day at work and not at play, yet still being comforted by the Light.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Stay guided by the Light of your higher Power, and of your recovery. LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[maverick.]

Vera just wanted to say thanks for your support, It is so very strange at ***** and even though I know what the end result will be if I was to gamble the addiction is so very strong and can just take over (if we let it). I know writing what I am thinking and reading the journals and posts on here give me so much help and inspiration and that in itself seems to kick start my brain back into the place it should be, so thanks to you and everyone on here for posting and sharing. Vera I hope you are keeping well and also hope life is being fair, look forward to catching up with you very soon, hope you have a great day love Maverick.

[maverick.]

Lol Vera I have just read your post to Carole, I didn’t even get your post when I had closed my journal and didn’t read it till this morning, I promise you I would never close any door in your face and it was total coincidence I decided to close my journal, just not in the **** to talk about me for a while, take care and see you soon, wishing you well love Maverick.

[looby loo]

Hi Vera, Thanks for your posts on my thread xx I hope you are okay and are ready for the April pact, of which day one has almost passed ? Glad to see that you have banned from the place you knew you could get your ‘fix’. Hope to see you around here very soon xx Much love xWe must look forward and must never look back, we cannot change what has already happened. The future is brighter.Looby Loo

[amyyy]

Hi Vera- i havent been around here in a little while- and just catching up on some threads. Sorry to see u have gambled again.
You said that u planned to ban yourself from there- how did that go?
Hopeing you are doing well and are moving forward in recovery and look forward to seeing u in group sometime soon x

[cat438]

Hi Vera, I notice that you have not started an April Pact and don’t know if this is because you don’t want to do it.  It is surprising how many people come on the first day of the month expecting that you will have started a month pact with your words of wisdom. 
How did your visit with your daughter go?  Is she still with you?  Also, I hope your health is doing okay.  Take care and wishing you a day free of gambleing, me too!!!  Have a great recovery day.One day at a time my sweet lord…

[charles]

Hi Vera, maybe one of those " things that you could do differently" would be to post your own thoughts and feelings on your own thread more often? 

[Anonymous]

hey girl never really posted on your thread but ya come visit me from time to time and always a welcome sight you are.  never really did any of the pact thing there either cause yeah,  consider myself kinda a lone wolf and they just like to chase the pact.  lol lol lol  nothing to worry about there of course cause not catching up with no one, im way behind the pact.  lol  havent seen a post from ya in a bit and just wondering if all is good with ya.  i may be a lone wolf but still like my pact in sight.  kinda makes me ornery thinking one might of went astray on me.  lol   time to gather up and be counted amongst that pact.  thinking of ya and hope all is well.

[i am hope]

Hi Vera are you going ok, remember we are starting over again together on this road so hang in there with me i am just hanging on vera but i am here, lets know how you are
 Living with Hope

[reds]

hi Vera, not seen you in a bit – seems odd – are you okay ?? Just for today, I will not gamble away my time, freedom or peace of mind.

[Anonymous]

hey girl, still no leader of the pact, whats up with that?  guess i aint looking to join on in or anything and like watching the pact from a distance.  lol  guess the pact must be sleeping cause no movment going on there.  yeah ill wander on in tomrrow to see if the pact be up and moving again.  hope all is well

[cat438]

Hi Vera, you have lots of people missing you.  I hope all is well and you are looking after Vera cause she sure is a lovely person.  Wishing you a day free of gambling.One day at a time my sweet lord…

[Anonymous]

Hiya Vera, hope that you’re still not gambling. It’s ****e man. I know if you are then nothing anybody can say will make you stop, except yourself, you have the awareness/wisdom to do so. 
Do you feel like you’ve let your followers on GT down by gambling? Hope not, I know I was reluctant to use the site when I first gambled because I felt like I was dashing the hopes of others. Somebody posted today that relapses are part of recovery. Rubbish, they dont have to be, if you’re doing things properly. 
Hope to see you soon.
Geordie.Recovery is priceless.

[finding_laura]

Hey Vera,
hope you are surviving your return to work! I still don’t know how you folks handle those long shifts. Even before my injury they’d be scraping me off the floor after the first day. Stay strong Vera, you can do this! Think of how you’d like to be able to retire someday. Don’t want to be the only 100 year old working on the ward! Take care Vera, thinking of you this morning.
Luv Laura

[Anonymous]

hey girl,  looks like the pact be getting restless and wants to move on.  think they all know your out there and want ya to return.  a pact sticks together thick and thin.  maybe theres a bone to be chewed apon or a good nerve that ***** mauling over.  guess we all like to feast on the little things sometimes but yeah they can never fill ya up and we need something more fufilling to quench that need.  theres a journey to be made and they’ll carry ya if wonded.  thinking of ya– 4/5/2012 12:03:22 AM: post edited by sucks2bme.

[cat438]

Thinking of you and wishing you a day free of gambling.  Take care Vera!!!One day at a time my sweet lord…

[icandothis]

Thinking of you Vera!  Hope you are not working too hard.  Do what you have to do for you, but try not to stay away from us too long.  We miss you!  (No pressure, just well wishes!)

[i am hope]

Hi Vera
I hope that you are ok.  Im not good at the moment but keep hanging on and coming back no matter if i gamble or not i will come back here.   Dont give up vera you know we are all here
 

[trulyshi]

Oh Vera, obviously what I wrote was misinterpreted by you.  I initially was upset by what you wrote, but when I went back and reread it I realized that you were not trying to offend or blame me.  Actually, there was alot of insightful things in that post and I’m truly sorry you removed it.  You NEVER need to apologize to me, we are all here for the same reason and I admire you and I thank you for taking the time to respond to my ramblings on my journal and for trying to help.  Please accept my apology for making you feel bad, that was not my intention at all – I was trying to justify why I felt I wasn’t to blame for the disintegration of my relationship.  I’m in a really rotten place in my life right now and feeling very sorry for Debbie.  We’re not here to judge each other and again, please never stop being supportive.  If you ever need a friend – here I am.  Debbie

[maverick.]

Hi Vera, Just wanted to say hope you are keeping well and always good to see you around, stay strong tomorrow as I know those days are the worst, sorry for the short reply but as always wish you all the very best in the world, take care love Maverick.
 

[trulyshi]

So sorry to hear about your friend Vera.  You are right, life is so very short.  I know that if I were given one week to live I would probably spend it trying to make amends to the people in my life (mainly my kids) that I think I short-changed due to my gambling.  I think I really need to forgive myself first, and get on with my life.  By the way, no hard feelings here either, I’m proud to know you and hope to get to know you better.  Debbie

[cat438]

Dear Vera, thanks for your post and I know what you mean that sometimes there are no words that can express how we feel.  I am finding it difficult as I love babies and kids… they are the most precious gift that we receive.  I sometimes wonder about the way things happen.  We arrived at the airport on vacation and our son was there to meet us with one of our other Grandsons who was so excited about us coming…  It just seems that I was given the chance to hold him which I may not have had if it had happened at a different time.  It was a tough two weeks, but my little guardian angel is up there looking over me now and that is how I have to look at it. 
I do thank God that I did get to hold him which is a blessing to me.  I am heartbroken for my son and daughter-in-law though as losing a child is one of the hardest things that any parent has to face. 
I am looking forward to meeting Carole and Bettie on Friday night…  I think we should start an Ireland saving fund so that we could come and visit you…
Vera, don’t ever give up trying as that is all we can do with this gambling. I suppose I don’t need to tell you that I have been wanting to gamble over the last wee while, but I am opening up more about my feelings and emotions to people on the loss of my Grandson rather than holding them in and gambling.
Wishing you a day free of gambling.One day at a time my sweet lord…

[twilight16]

Dear Vera,
You have been there for me in many ways you don’t know. Your advice to others has helped me and of course when you write me. I feel like I have a friend that understands and is doing what she can to help.*****
I will never forget how you reponded to me so shortly after I wrote my last thread entry. I was literally shaking as I typed, sickened by what had become of my father. I will so update my thread with details of what has transpired in the last few rocky days, still drained and spent, but I write this with a smile and a rested heart God has worked miracles. I believe the worst is behind my father and me.
Vera, your say it as it is approach reminds me very much like myself and I certainly hope I don’t cross the line by saying that on the flip side you are very sensitive, big, heart but because we have been through so much. We are guarded and don’t like to take any excuses or BS anymore. Your suggestion that I should seek mental assistance from my father caused me to google like mad and that is when I discovered Baker Act and went for it. I believe in a way you helped me save my father.
THANK YOU VERA!!!! THANK YOU!!!! THANK YOU A MILLION *****. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON.
*****Twilight(I believe we get our greatest strength from the hardest obstacles)

[chubbycat]

Hi Vera
I know you will come back when you are ready, doesn’t necessarily mean you have been gambling either, there could be any reason and even if you have you know we are always here.. Happy New Year to you if you havent already had it yet, i find it hard to keep up with who is in what year right now
Chubby

[desdemona]

Dear (((Vera)))! No news from you is not a good thing usually! Hope you’re well physically and emotionally! Wishing you a year of peace of mind and many blessings. I wish you’d post so that we know if you’re OK. Carole

[chubbycat]

Hi Vera
I saw on someones thread that you are taking a break.. i hope that the break is a good one for you. Be safe Vera, miss seeing you here
Chubby
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday

[maverick.]

“You make me stay, when I should not, are you so strong, or is all the weakness in me”, I read a lot into that Vera but hey perhaps I am just a complex person, I just wanted to post to say I was thinking about you and just wanted to wish you well, life is very strange at ***** and also very challenging but I am afraid to say it is only us who can see it through to the end, we follow the road of life and everyday we choose what path to take, I have taken many wrong turns but the good news for me is that when I go down a wrong path it leads to a dead end so I make my way back to the main road and start again, after all it maters not how many dead ends I go down (only my opinion of course) but all I know is just for today I am very happy to be posting to you and I hope life is being fair, take care Vera and I look forward to hearing from you soon as I am thinking of starting a new thread on here, all the very best love Maverick, always remember no mater where you are in life it is the people who make the places and you are one of those people.

[sherry123]

Maverick, I wish I had your way with words!  Vera it was a relief to read on Bettie’s thread that you are just taking a break.  I hope you got your finances sorted and life is good for you.  Sherry

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